How old is too old for trick or treating?

It’s all fun and “oh, what a cute Buzz Light Year costume” until, at 8:45 p.m. or so, a pack of 6-foot-tall teenage boys in drag show up and wipe you out of the Snickers bars you’d secretly hoped would holdover through the first week of November. Some cities are putting age limits on the door-to-door ritual, because single mothers and elderly people are frightened of overly tall trick-or-treaters, according to an MSNBC report. I guess I can understand how a masked child man at my door might be cause for alarm or confusion (do I call 9-1-1 or can he be appeased with candy corn?) if I were home alone Halloween night, but in general, is this a problem that’s so big you need an ordinance for it? At age 11, doesn’t a kid instinctively know his candy stacking days are short? If not, most (I know, not all) parents let them know, no? My daughter, 11 last year, was at that in-between stage and I found the perfect solution. I borrowed my 1-year-old nephew, sporting the most adorable dinosaur getup ever, and she took him along for a trick-or-treat perfect median age of 6 (1 bag).

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Anyway, in other Halloween musings, if you’re considering a Lady Gaga meat dress for Halloween, the same newscast this morning highlighted a newspaper’s video featuring professional butchers explaining why it’s a really bad idea. Silly me, I didn’t think an explanation necessary. However, hearing the New Jersey-based butchers’ (at work) responses to a reporters seemingly serious queries about wearing raw meat as clothing? Comedy gold. Quote: “If it’s fresh meat you’re going to get blood, juice over everything you touch or sit on so it’s not very hygenic … yo, Bruno! You said six?”