Sorry, we didn’t mean to startle you away from football season, but look — the Texas Rangers are playing for a chance in the World Series — FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!
Their seven-game series against the Evil Empire (New York Yankees) for the American League Championship starts tonight at 7 p.m.
Congratulations, Rangers fans. Go ahead and antler yourself.
If you’re lukewarm on the Rangers but want to jump on the bandwagon, it’s not too late. We hope die-hard Rangers fans will embrace you like Christians on Easter. We want to convert you, after all.
But you need to know about claws and antlers, the congratulatory hand signals that Rangers players and fans have adopted this season. The claw is like a long-distance high-five. And antlers — spread your hands and point a thumb at each temple and you’ve got them — are for feats of speed. You show them for a player who’s running swift as a deer.
Now you know, fledgling fans, so go ahead and antler yourself. Your facebook friends will know you’re in the spirit.