This handy info graph sheds some light on the trustworthiness of beards, for those times when we just can’t help but question the inscrutable paths of facial hair. Finally, a guide that boils it all down to a science.*

So guys, let’s steer clear of neck beards (ew), The John Waters (only the King of Bad Taste can pull that off), and don’t be a werewolf.

*based on no scientific evidence