Photo courtesy of wisconsinpicture/Unsplash
As we enter our yearly national celebration of Thanksgiving, you might expect me to talk about how we can increase gratitude in our lives.
But I’d like to turn your attention to a re-lated question: What do we do when others are *not* thankful for what we do?
Sometimes you do your best — in fact, sometimes you work very hard, suffer long, and sweat much — only to find everyone is ungrateful for your efforts, and maybe even hostile toward them.
I’ve been reading some hard lessons from the Gospels that point us toward a radical answer to how Jesus wants us to approach ingratitude.
In Luke17, Jesus tells an odd story about a servant. Nobody would ever expect a servant to expect to be served first, Jesus says. Quite the opposite. Servants should expect to serve their superiors.
Jesus goes on to say that, at the end of the day, his followers should do the same. And when they are done, they should say: “We servants deserve no special praise. We have only done our duty.”
In the very next verse, Jesus is walking through a “no man’s land,” between Galilee and Samaria. He comes upon a village and is approached by 10 people with leprosy (known today as Hansen’s disease). Jesus heals all 10. But only one of them, a foreign Samaritan, returns later to thank Jesus for being healed.
It’s an illustration of what Jesus has just told them: Don’t expect to be lauded and praised for doing good. Perhaps as few as one-in-10 people who receive good things from us will ever be grateful for them.
All of this flies in the faces of how we typically give gifts. We typically give expecting the gifts will be gladly received and wisely used. If they’re not, we can feel cheated or that we’ve been taken advantage of.
But Jesus’ view of giving is that we ought to give with, no expectations. Jesus says our expectations of reward — heavenly or earthly — are actually part of our problem.
“When they wish to haul you to court and take your shirt,” Jesus says in the Gospel of Matthew, “let them have your coat too. When they force you to go one mile, go with them two. Give to those who ask, and don’t refuse those who wish to borrow from you.”
Crazy as it sounds, expect to be cheated. Expect receivers of your gifts to be ungrateful and ask for more anyway.
None of these are easy words to hear. Again, because we like to be thanked. We like to be liked. We don’t like the feeling of being cheated or taken advantage of.
Our world lives according to “quid pro quo.”
But Jesus says a radical thing. He said that we ought to intentionally give to those who can never repay us: “When you host a lunch or dinner, don’t invite your friends, your brothers and sisters, your relatives, or rich neighbors. If you do, they will invite you in return and that will be your reward. Instead, when you give a banquet, invite the poor, crippled, lame, and blind. And you will be blessed because they can’t repay you.”
All of this is foreign to our normal way of living. And I know that some of you are reading this and saying, “Ok, preacher, you go first; you give away all your possessions!”
I cannot personally claim to live out these hard sayings well. I am as big a hypocrite as anyone.
But I do know that when I do cheerfully, and freely, give to others, without expectation of reward or return, it feels good.
It feels good to give free gifts. It’s the life Jesus led, of course. Everywhere he traveled in his earthly ministry, he gave to others, eventually even giving his life. And although it was a difficult path, it is very clear he found a joyful bliss in giving without expectation.
And as we move through a season of gratitude this month, I will offer this final thought: The more you can give without expectations, the more joy you will find too.
